When my ex and I broke up, I felt like nothing was going to be ok, ever. I thought he was the most perfect man in the world and that I would never find someone like him. I now see, I don’t need someone like him.
He was always extatic and had never ending energy. He was never sad or angry. He had no struggles, no worries, no problems. I always thought of this as something that would always lift up my spirit. Looking back, maybe this wasn’t true, after all. The truth is, even though he always tried to help me fight my demons, he never truly understood them. He’d never even get the blues, how would he understand depression? We started to fall apart and I’m sure that was one of the biggest reasons. We didn’t communicate much. It was very one-sided. I would cry my heart out and he would listen. I needed him but he didn’t need me. That was it.
He is an amazing person and I want to keep him in my life, as my friend. I’m just trying to be rational and realizing it’s not the end of the world and that there is always someone else out there.
In fact, I might have found a good fit. We’ve been together for a while now, in a casual, non-serious kind of way. When I met him he was a very reserved person. With time, I got him to open up to me. I saw him shift from distant and cold to extremely caring. I came to know he hadn’t been this close with a girl since highschool, for five years. He was the kind of guy to have casual sex and date multiple women at the same time. I wasn’t sure I could trust him. And then, one day, he broke down and cried in front of me. And after that he told me “you’re the best thing that happened to me, thank you for making me feel something again“. In that moment, I knew I could trust him.
We both have our personal struggles. I definitely have mine and he has his share of traumas and problems, we’re both open about it and the best part is I get a feeling that we’re fighting together. It is comfortable and heart-warming and even exciting. I like this guy, I know it because he’s travelling and I miss him. I feel hopeful today, like I haven’t in a while, and it makes me happy. Who knows what’s in store for us. *smiley face here because that’s me right now*