Family vacations always go wrong (spiraling down)

I’m 19 going on 20. There have been at least 10 family vacations gone wrong because me and my mom always find a reason to fight. But this year she took it a step further by establishing 3 rules:

  • Not talking to her until I leave (I’m leaving earlier to go to a festival)
  • Not saying goodbye to her
  • Leaving as soon as I can because it’s better for her

I took it very personally (unlike my sister, it was also directed to her) and couldn’t sleep last night because I was so upset. It was around 3 am when I checked my phone and I had a facebook notification that read “Your ex added a new photo”.

My bad for having him on close friends.

It was the first photo of him and his new girlfriend. After 3 months only. After I broke down in tears at a dinner party when he told me she was coming to meet us later and proceeded to cry throughout the rest of the night (taking breaks only to drink shots) less than a week ago. For the whole year and 5 months we dated he never uploaded a photo with me. There was one but I did it so it doesn’t count, right? And am I the only one who thinks this is really disrespectful?

And, like that, when I thought I was doing so well, I started feeling depressed again. I cried. I messaged his mother. I cried. I watched an episode of OITNB to get my mind off my life. I went to bed at 6 am and woke up at 2 pm. I went to the beach alone and cried some more. I had dinner really fast and crawled back into bed.

I should be resting, having fun with my sisters but I’m here instead. And I’m not much into living at the moment.

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