We’ve been on 8 dates. Each one is better than the last. Each time I get more scared.
I’ve only written about the good part. There’s a dark side to the story. I will share it with you today because I am in desperate need of advice.
He had a girlfriend. They were together 6 years and he broke up with her so he could date me. Of course he still loves her, how could he not? And I get that. He compares it to the kind of love he has for his parents or his brother.
He’s asked her to let him go. She won’t. She contacts him every day. They’re still very much in eachother’s lives. She works for his father, he’s best friends with her brother… Things like that. Things that happen when pretty much everyone assumes you’re getting married.
And then I appeared pretty much out of nowhere. He likes me a lot, he loves being with me, he tells me I’m “all he ever wanted and needed without knowing it”. We’re in love, I call it that because I don’t have any other words for it. I feel it, the chemistry and electricity that flows through my whole body when we’re together. I can’t recall feeling this happy.
But he’s still torn. He might go back to her and I’m so scared of that. I fear going from extremely enthusiastic and happy to miserable, because there will be a hole in my heart and in my life if he goes missing and I won’t know how to fill it. I never did.