Losing your identity

Have you ever found yourself lost in your feelings for someone? Not a good, mutual, true love kind of lost.

Lost in a way where you’ll do anything to get attention from that person. To get feedback from them. To get a hesitant compliment you had to dig for. Gradually, you become desperate trying to obtain what you’re missing inside and coming to realize it will never be enough.

They can not give it to you and it’s not their fault.

IMG_2363So there you are, lacking all sense of self not knowing where you left it, having spent all your strength on a wasted effort to fill your loneliness. Having neglected your real priorities: your work, your family, your passions…

If you have lost yourself this way, I know how you
felt. Drained of all vitality at the end of the day, wondering why things don’t ever go the way you want them to.

The thing with toughness is that, once you have it, it never really goes away. The tenacity you gained walking your path up to this moment is your most powerful tool.

Tonight, you might fall asleep with tears in your eyes but tomorrow you can wake up and make the choice to not let yourself fade into someone else’s world, where you don’t fit, and use your strength to stay rooted to your own.

Take a look in the mirror. See how bright you shine? That light is your own.

 

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4 thoughts on “Losing your identity

  1. I can sort of relate. I’ve felt like I lose myself when I’m around certain people because I change my behaviour when I’m with them. They consume my thoughts and I try to impress them, try to get them to notice me, etc. In the moment it’s kind of fun, but at the end of the day it isn’t fun at all.
    Love what you said about not letting ourselves fade into someone else, and just being ourselves with our own light.

    Like

    1. I believe it does help if you want to be a good person. Not sure about happy, though. I sometimes wish I wasn’t so self-aware and didn’t think as much.

      Like

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