“It’s time to settle down”

Being angry is bad. It’s quite poisonous and it makes you bitter but lately I can’t avoid it.

Our once inseparable group of friends is now divided in two sub-groups. The ones who are in serious relationships and judge the rest of us for not having lost our edge and, well, the rest of us. The people in this sub-group share many characteristics:

  • they never want to go out
  • they used to be party animals like the rest of us and now they’re not
  • when they go out they always go home early because “they’re tired”
  • they will get mad if they don’t get invited to random dinners that often result in wild nights but wouldn’t come if we invited
  • they actually act like they’re superior
  • they think they have it all figured out
  • they lose their shit when we tell them they’ve changed or just how we feel about their new lifestyle

Quoting one of them “We’re in our third year of university. We’ve partied enough the first two years. We’re all twenty/twenty-one-year-olds, it’s time we settle down.”

What the fuck? I don’t get it. Being in a loving relationship is a great thing but I don’t get the need to act like and old married couple. It’s not the time yet! We’re only halfway through university. The thought of “settling down” for good makes me shiver.

One of the individuals in this group is my ex and, man, we were wild! We were fun to hang out with and always stayed up until dawn. Now, every time I hang out with two of my closest friends, who are now in a relationship, all they have to say is what they cooked for the other the night before.

“The rest of us”, we just nod, we puke in our mouths a little bit and proceed to planning our next night or an evening of doing something new.

I’m not settling down, I’m going on an international exchange program (we all are, actually), I’m preparing to experience the best events of my whole life. It is all still ahead of me. I want to dance until my feet hurt and watch the sun rise a million times and die my hair and lose myself in unknown streets and sit alone at cafés people-watching and kiss boys I don’t love.

The only problem is I miss them. I miss us. The freshman and sophomore years us. Oh, the nostalgia.


7 thoughts on ““It’s time to settle down”

  1. Many people as teenagers, then on the beginning edge of adulthood at 18, 20, 22..have a distorted interpretation of things–perhaps an air or arrogance- you can’t tell them anything because they think they know Everything.. .as you say, they think they have it all figured out. . I was no different.
    But the older one gets, the more one sees how much they do Not know. There are some major ‘life lessons’ awaiting the young people..things always believed to be true and good may not be. The Forever lovers or friends leave, or lie to you, use you. There are definite serious consequences to certain behaviors or actions. . Ethics and morals may be put to the test.. . Hey–sounds like fun, eh ? haha

    A thing a lot of women do is ignore their women friends when they get a man/boyfriend in their life after the friend has been there through thick and thin with emotional support.. .but when the man is gone here she comes again, crying. That behavior sends a message, and not a good one

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Everything you said was spot on, Kate. There’s one specific girl who was heartbroken a little over a year ago… There was nothing I wouldn’t do to help her. I would write endless lines of advice and she always had my shoulder to cry on. I naively thought she was my best friend. Then, my guy best friend, who was just this amazing friend I would have the most amazing conversations with, had a crush on her. I helped them get together. And even when they were already a couple she’d cry over her ex and I was always there. For both of them. Now they’re madly in love but too clingy and co dependent and I felt somewhat abandoned.

      You’re right. These things happen and they will keep on coming. It’s no fun… But you have to cope.


  2. To me both groups are wrong and right.
    Some people enjoy life differently, the problem is there are always some of them who tell others that the right way to live is theirs. You say they judge but you actually judge them too (listing their “characteristics”). Just be tolerant ffs. They like life simple as it is, like an ‘old married couple’? Fine as long as they are happy.
    You like exploring various experiences life can offer? Fine as long as you are happy.
    Get off each other’s back.


    1. I guess you’re right… It’s just weird seeing people change this much. I feel hurt by them and maybe that’s why I judge them.


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