New low

I’ve come to realize I’ll never get along with my mother. Now I have to figure out how to cope with this. 

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone.

After all I’ve been through, all my efforts, all the times I pushed through my pain and never gave up, she told me to my face the only reason I don’t get the results I want is because I don’t work for it. Which is a big lie and it hurt me deeply. I expected support from my mother, not all the horrible things she told me.

In the end all you have is yourself. We all know that but it is a very sad conclusion to come to at the end of every day.

Today the academic week starts, a week of party and fun and all about being with your friends and celebrating the place that brought us together. She ruined it for me like she’s ruined so many things throughout my whole life. And I’m devastated.

Dispite all the shit going on, plus being on antibiotics for a kidney infection and recovering from a flu I’ll try to make the best of this week. I’ll try. 

I always keep trying. I always fight. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep up.

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