The rat race

I feel a bit frustrated with life at the moment. Having travelled so much not long ago to find myself living a very stressful, demanding and not very fulfilling life has me planning what my next move will be when I get a chance to break through.

I wonder what percentage of life is predetermined and what percentage of our own choices was made under the pressure of people around you. I wonder how many paths we’ve left behind to never cross again, what we lost and exactly how much can we still take back.

You stay in the same place because you’re told that’s the normal thing to do. You’re made believe that you need to make a lot of money to have a lot of things. You tell yourself you built a good thing – your work has paid off because you can now afford your own house and trade your car for a better one – and you call it a life. It’s your new excuse as to why you must stay; you’re a prisoner of your belongings.

You feel lonely; you try to connect with people and get them to sympathise with your situation but you can’t find what you’re searching for. You call your mother and she says you should be grateful; she tells you how she never had good clothes or her own place until she moved in with your father.

You still haven’t found your future husband; you’re probably not good enough. You stretch your arms and you can’t reach the ends of the bed, it’s so big and you have no one to share it with. “I have to be better. I can do it. Starting tomorrow I’ll push myself even harder.”; but nothing changes, only the number in your bank account goes up. You crash and sob all night and then you do the same thing hoping for a different outcome.

With every day you like yourself a bit less, you see a new flaw you’d never noticed but you’re kind of glad your life is stressful because at least that makes you lose weight.

Even if you win the rat race, you’re still just a rat.

Only a small percentage of people manage to break that cycle. They have just enough to get by, they work for what they have and cherish every good thing that comes their way. They hear the music, they taste the food, they sleep soundly; and they seek answers like the rest of us but they’re the ones who’ve learned the most important lesson of all.

All my observations have led me to believe that the key to a happy life is to live a simple life. I created my own anxiety; along with my parents and my friends and my teachers and church and the internet and TV. But I also believe it’s never too late to take a different turn and let your spirit drive you to where you’re supposed to go.

“L’esprit nous conduit où on doit aller. Et on arrive, hein?” (“The spirit drives us where we’re supposed to go. And we get there.”) – said a wise man in some documentary I saw recently

 

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6 thoughts on “The rat race

  1. Teresa, I’m amazed at your sharp insight–which I believe you’ve always had even even if you didn’t realize it. I think it’s the rare person who really knows their path to joy in life when young without detours and stumbling along the way to self-realization.
    For the rest of us the mistakes and choices made when young (bad and good both) hopefully lead us to evolve into what we are meant to be, this is what I see in you now.
    I also think we cross paths with people in our lives for a reason, to learn about ourselves, even if some of it may not be ‘pretty’, sometimes a painful lesson. I think you’ll be just fine !

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    1. As usual thank you for your great insight ❤ I’m very glad we crossed paths. You’ve given me some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten and carry it with me to this day! I’m really very thankful, I hope you had a happy Easter!

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  2. I am so lucky I got to meet you.

    Some people in life cross our paths and make us question everything that we do. You are such a bright girl. I saw it when we met and this post is a confirmation of what I already knew.

    You have a great insight in the world and in how life works, which only a few of us ever see in our entire lifetime.
    You are wise.

    I know you feel you are still searching your way in life, but it is because you keep questioning what you do – and what others do – that you will really achieve greatness.
    Because in part, what you do doesn’t matter that much, as long as you do it for the right reasons.
    You, my lovely friend, are pure of heart. I hope that one day you will find the peace you are looking for. I honestly believe you are on an amazing path.

    You make me question what I do and the motives for doing so and for that you will always have a special place in my heart.
    That and because you are one of the rare people you can have a deep conversation with, one who will always be there and listen and yet can have a crazy amount of fun with too.

    You are a once in a lifetime kinda friend.
    You are amazing.
    I only wish you knew how special you are.

    Thank you for being so open and giving me the room to do the same.
    I love you.

    Thanks for sharing!

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